The Accidental Tourist (by Anne Tyler. Audiobook narrated by John Malkovich.)

I had ordered this as a cassette tape on Ebay for about 2$.  I listened to half of it, and found the latter 2 parts difficult to hear.  Sound quality on super old cassettes can be funny like that.  A fellow Malkovich fan was kind enough to share an mp3 copy with me so I could listen to the recording and oh, you know, actually be able to hear it.

I listened to it while I was working this morning.  The story centers around Macon Leary, who is still grieving (in his own way) the loss of his 12 year old son, who was shot during a robbery at a fast food place.  A year after the death, his wife announces she is leaving him.  She moves out, and he is left with their very unruly dog, Edward.  Edward becomes so out of control, that he causes Macon to breaks his leg, which in turn forces him to go live with his rather unusual (and by that I mean "damn weird") family while he recovers.  They urge him to get Edward professional training.  Eventually he gives in and hires Muriel Pritchard to train the dog but he winds up becoming a part of her life beyond her simply teaching his dog not to attempt to maul random people.

I liked the story.  I don't know if I would have liked it simply by reading, but JM gives a great narration.  I took great joy in listening to him read Muriel's dialogue in particular.  He has a great voice for this sort of thing, and I wish he would record more audiobooks.

The one thing I took major issue with is the ending.  Up until that moment, I had seen Macon as someone clueless and a bit closed off.  But in the final few moments of the book,  I suddenly realized he was a huge jerk.  And Muriel +the ex wife are the people who had to deal with his ridiculousness.   I felt the worst for Muriel.

The ending was abrupt and for me came unexpectedly.

Even so, I really liked listening to this point.  JM was a great choice to do the reading!

Afterwards

Basic summary I pulled off of IMDB describes the movie as this:

Nathan, a brilliant New York lawyer who leads a life of professional success, but his private life is pretty dismal since he divorced Claire, his only love. Until he meets Doctor Kay, a mysterious doctor who introduces himself as a "Messenger." He claims that he can sense when certain people are about to die, and that he is sent to help them put their life in order before it's too late. Nathan doesn't believe a word of this, but soon afterwards he witnesses some disconcerting scenes which seem to confirm the doctor's claims.

That is the general premise,  but I took away more from this film.   First things first,  I really enjoyed the cinematography.  The opening scene is absolutely beautiful, with the water and the swan.   There are some scenes throughout the entire film that are visually impressive.  Loved it.

The subject matter is sad.  There are very few, if any, moments of joy in this film.  It's about death and dying though,  I didn't expect it to be cheerful.

The acting is solid overall (apart from the opening scene-  I'm sorry, but if I accidentally hit a kid with my car, I would be flipping out and inconsolable.  And if I arrived on the scene of a kid who had been hit by a fucking car,  my response would not be a calm "Jesus.  ...Call 911"  seriously??  I understand remaining calm during a crisis, but one might expect some emotion in such a scenario). 

Malkovich is wonderful as Doctor Kay.  I will say,  in one of his first moments on screen,  when he is in the park,  my heart literally did flutter for a second.   He is just so lovely.   His character about damn near gave me an anxiety attack, however.  All the talk about death,  not being able to control or know the hour of death,  etc.  STOP.  Seriously - I have enough thoughts running wild without getting into the whole mortality thing.

I also laughed during the scene where he first meets Nathan,  and randomly says "do you want me to examine you? I'm a doctor" .   He is totally serious and not trying to be creepy,  because he really is a doctor.   Um.  I'd like him to be my doctor.
And my boyfriend.

The character, I mean.  I don't want the actual John Malkovich to do any doctoring on me (boyfriend is a different story.  A 30 year age difference isn't so bad, is it??) .  Although,  if I ever trip and land on some rogue piece of scaffolding and begin bleeding profusely,  I would want him to be nearby to save the day.   And he totally would.

I found this movie strangely beautiful.   And sad.  And a little scary.   A lot scary, actually.  It brought up a lot of questions about life and death, and the idea of "messengers" on earth being able to know when a person is going to die,  was interesting.   I wonder if many people would really want to know they were going to die.   Well, we're all going to die,  but to know it is imminent is a different matter entirely.   I wouldn't want to know if it was soon.  It is stressful enough just to know that someday it will happen.

I would recommend this movie to anyone,  Malkovich fan or otherwise.  It's thought-provoking,  beautifully filmed,  sad,  and worth watching.

Changeling (contains spoilers)

Changeling is a movie about the worst nightmare I never even knew I had.  It is based on a true story, which makes it doubly horrifying.  Set in 1928 Los Angeles,  it follows Christine Collins, a single mother to a 9 year old little boy, Walter.   She works at a telephone operating office, and is inexplicably on roller skates.  If I was corny I'd say something like that's just how they rolled in the 20s, but I'm gonna control myself here.

One day, Christine is called into work unexpectedly.  On her day off.  She had promised to take Walter to the movies, and he is visibly disappointed.  See- this is why cell phones are great.  You can see who is calling you and you can choose not to answer them.  Christine could have had a day off with her son, but instead she answered the phone and had to go to work.  She leaves her nine year old child home alone.  I guess that wasn't neglect in 1928.

She is delayed on the way home when her boss stops her to offer her a promotion.  She misses her trolley and gets home late.  Predictably, she arrives to find her son missing.  Vanished without a trace.   She for some reason doesn't call the cops immediately and instead walks around her neighborhood in the damn dark.  Oh, 1928.  She gives up and calls the cops.  She is told that she has to wait 24 hours before reporting her child missing and that 99 times out of a 100, the missing child returns home.  Okay,  I know Amber Alert wasn't a thing then, but where did this guy get his statistics, because I call bullshit lol.

12 minutes into the film, Malkovich appears in the form of a pastor who is hell bent on exposing the LAPD for the corrupt mess they apparently are in this movie.  His name is Gustav, and they have styled the character's hair in a way that is unfortunate. 

Months later in Illinois, a man and a young boy are at a diner.   The man "forgets" his money and acts all shady.  He says he will go home and get some money and leaves his "son" with the owner of the diner.  The guy never comes back and the police are called. 

Back in LA,  the police contact Christine and let her know Walter has been found.  She is understandably overjoyed and rushes to the train station to meet him.  But when she gets there she is horrifed and says "That isn't my son".   The police insist to her that he is her child.  That part I don't get.   A mother knows her child.  You can't mistake your own flesh and blood. She is encouraged to take the kid home "on a trial basis" which is just so crazy I don't even know what to say.   But she does,  and she finds more and more proof that the boy isn't hers.  Even the kid's teacher agrees it isn't Walter.   It's a damn shame Maury Povich didn't exist back then, because he could have fixed that real quick.  "Christine...in the case of 9 year old Fake-Walter...you are NOT the mother!"

Christine goes back down to the police station to say that this boy isn't hers and that Walter is still missing out there.  The police chief is pissed.  Really pissed.  He feels like she is going to bring shame upon their department because they have "solved" this case, and now she's threatening to go public with the fact that they gave her an impostor child.  So, the chief of police throws her in the psych ward.   The mental hospital scenes are AWFUL.  I had a visceral reaction to some of them, even.

Meanwhile,  a police officer gets a call to investigate a child named Sanford who is in the country illegally from Canada and is staying on some ranch.   On the way to the ranch,  he passes the creepy dine-and-dash guy from earlier in the film. He totally doesn't act guilty as hell the entire time the cop interacts with him.   Once at the ranch,  the cop finds a young boy who runs from him but is eventually caught.

The child confesses a hideous story about how a man named Gordon Northcott has allowed him to stay on the ranch, but has forced him to witness and participate in some horrendous crimes.  The boy confesses to murdering or being an accomplice to murdering upwards of 20 children.  The cop is skeptical at first but then realizes the boy is telling the truth.   He identifies Walter Collins in a photo as one of the boy who was murdered.  And we all get to see the cop have an "OH SHIT" moment when he realizes that Christine was put into an asylum for no reason, and that she was right when she said they had delivered her a Not-Walter and insisted it was really him.
Pastor Malkovich saves the day and gets Christine out of that hospital.  He continues his crusade to shed light on what happened, as well as the corruption and general epic-failness of the police department in this movie.

Eventually Northcott is cot, prosecuted, and executed,  but not before he telegraphs Christine and convinces her to come see him the day before execution.  He claims he is going to confess to her what happened to her boy, but when she arrives he refuses, prompting her to go temporarily batshit insane, get in his face, and say "Did you kill my son?" about 500 times.  I'd love to see how many times the words "my son" appear in the script.

The death by hanging scene is intense.  Northcott flips out and acts ridiculous.  Seriously, you murdered 20 or so kids,  you were a serial killer before the term even existed, and now you're going to boohoo cry about being punished for your crimes?  Shut up, Northcott.

I really didn't know what to expect with this movie.  The term Changeling made me think that it would have some supernatural element to it,  so I was pleasantly surprised to find a crime drama.  Angelina Jolie is fantastic in this.  I am not very familiar with her movies,  but she was great in this.  Malkovich can do no wrong.  He's not in this a whole lot, but he can do no wrong.

The movie falls apart a bit in the last half hour or so,  but overall it is paced in a way that keeps it interesting.  The colors are interesting,  it is shot in a way that really gives it a 1920s/30s feel.   It also successfully touches on my worst fears- something happening to my child,  and imprisonment.  I have a very irrational fear of being imprisoned or hospitalized.   I do nothing to warrant either of those,  yet I feel very anxious at even the thought of it.    The scene where Sanford confesses, and another flashback scene were very upsetting to watch.   Knowing that this was based on true events makes it all the more horrifying.  I enjoyed the film, but it left me feeling sad.

Red 2

I almost never see movies in theaters.   It costs too much,  and then there is the issue of time.  When exactly would I get to do this?  I always feel like my time is better spent doing something else.
I will, of course, make an exception when it is a movie featuring John Malkovich.   I even braved a packed theater.  ME.  The most anti-social of anti-social.  I almost sat next to someone.  I placed my bag on the seat next to me so no one would sit directly beside me,  but even still,  there were strangers sitting feet away from me.  A bit distracting,  as I could hear their sniffles and coughs and ughhhh chewing sounds.  I was able, eventually, to block that out and fully immerse myself in the movie.
 
I've got to say,  the first time I saw the movie Red,  I was confused and didn't care for it all that much.  I did, however, give it a second chance recently,  and felt better about it.   I am not typically a fan of action movies,  I don't go for the "blowing stuff up, guns out, suspennnnd that disbelief, baby"  type films.  Just not usually my thing.

With that said,  I REALLY enjoyed Red 2.  It was better than the first one, by far.   I suppose this is because the first film had to work hard to establish those characters and make us (well, me) like them. I have no knowledge of the comics, so I am basing my opinions solely on the movie.  It took two viewings to grow on me.  This one I enjoyed from beginning to end.

It probably goes without saying, Marvin is my favorite character.   Malkovich does comedy quite well.  He is very funny, and I wish he would do more comedies.   My first viewing of Red left me a little sad,  as I initially felt like he should have gotten the role Bruce Willis had.  I would have preferred to see him be the hero/sexy guy etc.  as opposed to the paranoid sidekick type.  But he actually made it work.  Marvin is a likeable character.  His facial expressions and subtle humor work just as well as the over the top crap the writers threw in there.  

The other actors are fine.  I don't know much about any of them,  I think Bruce Willis is OK,  he's whatever.   I like Mary Louise-Parker as an actress,  but became very annoyed with her very annoying,  childlike character.   She appeared to have some sort of character arc near the end of the film, but then went right back to being a doe-eyed pain in the ass.  I wanted Frank or Marvin to just tell her to STFU....but neither of them ever did.   I'm not familiar with Helen Mirren at all,  but I would like to think I'd be so badass and somehow, magically, British when I'm a senior citizen.   I won't though.  By that time, I'll have 30 or so cats and have cute nicknames for each one of them.
Anthony Hopkins is in this one, playing Hannibal Lecter with Dementia.  I wasn't blown away by his performance, but he is Anthony Hopkins and he can pretty much do whatever he wants.   This wasn't some Academy Award type film,  it is a fun comedy/action,  so he is allowed to phone it in if need be.
Catherine Zeta-Jones was meh.   And was that Professor Lupin from Harry Potter playing the role of the frog?  If not, the guy seemed familiar from something.  He grossed me out though,  his mustache was creepy.  Like all mustaches are.

I especially enjoyed the scenes in London.  I was fortunate enough to travel to the UK years ago and while it looks increasingly as though I will never get back on that side of the Atlantic,  it still makes me happy to see England anywhere.

I couldn't quite understand the constant costume changes.  These people change clothes SO much!  But very much enjoyed Malkovich in the Paris scenes after he has inexplicably become Sarah's shopping buddy,  and has dressed rather fashionably.  Extremely hot.  Also the Russian uniform was nice to look at.   Malkovich in drag in the final scene,  not sure about LOL.

I'm happy I got to see this in theaters,  I have been waiting for a while and definitely found it worthy of both the time and money.  Even with all the blowing-shit-up, you-need-to-have-a-penis-to-fully-appreciate-it, testosterone-y goodness.

Warm Bodies

I forgot I didn't write anything about this one.   I got it from the redbox a while back and endeavored to watch it on a day when I took a 2 hour lunch.  I love zombie movies, but I wasn't sure how I felt about this zombie horror-comedy.  It was no Shaun of the Dead, but it wasn't unwatchable either.

I was shocked to see the kid from About a Boy all grown up and handsome!  To me he will always be Marcus with the dorky sweater and bad haircut.

I think this movie needed more Malkovich.  He is good, as he always is, but not in it enough.

The movie centers around R. who is a zombie.  I did like the voiceover from his POV, of a 'zombie' who has some recollection of being alive.  He finds and saves Julie (? Get it....like romeo and juliet...oh, clever lol) ...after eating her boyfriend and stealing his memories.  I didn't quite get this part.

I'm tired so I'm not going to really recap it further.  It was worth watching, has some cute moments,  I like the soundtrack, and the idea of the zombies being able to "come back" and be human again.  Even if it doesn't make sense when I think of every other zombie movie ever made.

I rented it for the Malkovich, but I stayed for the zombies!

Ecstasy

http://lbbonline.com/news/ecstasy-starring-john-malkovich/

Super disturbing short video starring the man himself.   I like this kind of stuff.   Language warning for those offended by curse words.

The Great Buck Howard

This one I'm on the fence about.  Parts of it are funny,  I kinda liked it,  but I just can't quite shake how much JM reminds me of Will Ferrell in this.  Something about him!  I do like him when he does comedy though.

Eleni

I've been putting this one off because it's 1:45 long and on Youtube with Greek subtitles.  But here we go.

I can tell it is super super old because of the ancient computer Malkovich is using and the tape recorder he has.  He looks cute though, so that's something.

Malkovich plays Nick, a reporter whose mother was murdered 30 years prior to the setting of this film,  in Greece, during civil war.   He wants to go back to Greece in an effort to track down her killers.

*Two days later,  I finished watching it.  I kept trying to start too late at night and would inevitably fall asleep and have to pick up the next night at the last point I remember being awake.

It is an interesting movie,  very clearly made for tv,  and the woman who plays Eleni overacts quite horrifically.   The subject matter, too,  is rather horrific and sad.   Thought-provoking.  I don't know what else to say about it.  Malkovich is fabulous in a very quiet and understated way.  He can convey so much with just his eyes and tone of voice.  This came out in 1985, so he was relatively unknown at the time and I can imagine that this role could have been one of the ones that caused people to notice him.   Definitely worth watching,  but rather sad storyline.  

Walking On Broken Glass

Watch "Annie Lennox - Walking On Broken Glass" on YouTube

I remember this video vividly from my childhood, because the powder wigs and Hugh Laurie's character freaked me out.   I love the song, I always have, and have found myself in my own 'walking on broken glass' type relationships in the past,  so listening to that song reminds me of so many different things. 

Malkovich is great in the video, but Annie Lennox overshadows him and everyone else with her awesomeness!

True West

I was finally able to watch this via YouTube, split into 10 segments.  I had a moment of horror when, after completing part 8 of 10,  I couldn't locate parts 9 or 10, but I found them.

This was Malkovich as I've never seen him before...and how I've seen him many times.  By this I mean that his character has the explosive flashes of anger that we have all seen in later characters he has played.  But, this character is different in all other ways.  He is not smooth, manipulative, charming, funny - none of those things.  His speech patterns make me think very much of Lennie, and for a while it was difficult for me to not envision him as "Lennie, if Lennie was a jerk".  

John Malkovich and Gary Sinise are magic together in this.  I can only imagine what it must have been like to see them do this onstage.  

Both their characters are wholly unlikeable much of the time.  Sinise plays Austin, who is a smug, arrogant little prick.  Malkovich plays his brother, Lee, who is a boorish, hateful alcoholic.  I want to smack them both throughout a lot of this.  But at the same time, they both have moments where I feel sorry for them, for different reasons.

There are humorous moments, and I'm still astounded that something where the primary (only) setting is the kitchen of their mother's house could remain interesting start to finish.   There are moments where I felt intensely sad for these two men.  Like, I wanted to adopt Lee, clean him up, and take him to counseling.  Okay, I still pretty much just wanted to kick Austin in the shins, but I felt sorry for him that he had been clearly terrorized by his brother.  And because his jealousy became his driving force and caused him to lose composure so spectacularly.

John Malkovich is phenomenal.  Period.  There is a scene in which Austin has been drinking a lot, and Lee appears to have sobered up at least somewhat, and it was interesting to see their dynamic shift.  

I'm so glad I found this and was able to watch it!  I watched an old JM interview not too long ago, where I believe he said he based the way he played Lee, on his own older brother.  Having now seen True West, I hope he was kidding because Lee was a terror.

The Man in the Iron Mask

I didn't even finish this overly-long film.  Malkovich is fine in it, as were the other Musketeers, really.  I vaguely remember seeing this in theaters due to friends thinking DiCaprio was omggggg soooo cuuuuute.  A phase I outgrew soon after Romeo+Juliet left theaters, thank god lol.  The times I went with friends to see Titanic, it was primarily to see that man jump/fall off the boat and bounce off a CGI propeller.  Because, I'm sorry, but that's funny.
Anyway.  This movie is overly long and boring.  I love Malkovich no matter what he does, but I hated this movie.