Places in the Heart

First I'm borrowing a synopsis written by another person,  so I will leave in their email address as a credit.  I looked the movie up on IMDB and their synopsis was the best one.   As a side note: this movie came out the year I was born!

Okay, synopsis:

 Set in 1935 Waxahachie, Texas, PLACES IN THE HEART tells a story -- not unlike the familiar story told by the film "It's A Wonderful Life" -- of the delicate balance one life can exert upon so many others. When Sheriff Royce Spalding is accidentally killed by a drunken gunman, his wife, Edna, is suddenly thrust into the role of provider for her two small children, Frank and Possum. Then "Mose," an out-of-work black man begging for every meal in the racist South of the Depression era, happens along with a scheme to plant cotton on her forty acres. It is the only chance Edna has to keep her family together. Meanwhile, Mr. Denby, of the bank which owns the mortgage on the farm, is quick to extend a "hand of charity" to Mrs. Spalding by depositing his blind brother-in-law (Mr. Will) with her for safekeeping. Margaret, Edna's sister and a local "beauty operator," is unable to provide much help; her beauty shop is all that stands between herself, her philandering husband, and a small daughter on one side and poverty on the other. A tornado offers their first challenge. Emerging from the storm cellar, blind Mr. Will asks "How bad is it?" "Well," Mose responds, "everything's a little bent, but it's still here." Next, the bottom falls out of the cotton market and Edna's only chance to make the mortgage payment is that she be first to bring her crop to the cotton mill and claim the $100 first prize for doing so. In her way is the local chapter of the Ku Klux Klan which objects to Mose's efforts to best a white man to the prize money. In spite of the church setting of the final scene of the film, it seems karmic in its implications. Written by Mark Fleetwood <mfleetwo@mail.coin.missouri.edu>

Now, with that out of the way...

I have no snarky comments whatsoever about this movie.  No attempt whatsoever at being funny.  Granted,  I'm not even funny when I try,  but this movie deserves no attempt at humor. 
I really enjoyed it.  The acting, from the entire cast, is superb.  Even the child actors were great.

Malkovich, being the reason I chose this movie,  of course stood out to me.  I thought he did a wonderful job of playing a blind man and I forgot that I was even watching "MALKOVICH" - I believed him,  I believed he was this blind guy.   I cared about his character,  and the others.  

With that said...movies set in this general time period evoke some strange, almost visceral response from me.  I can't quite articulate it,  but films, books, et cetera that are set in rural Southern towns from this time period,  or even as far back as slavery times...I almost feel a sense of unexplainable disgust.  Just....the way the people dress, behave, speak,  the music they listen to,  the rural setting itself...like I said,  I can't explain it,  but I physically recoil.   Maybe I lived in this time during a past life lol.   It makes no sense to me,  but I get cold chills watching anything set around these decades.

It is weird how certain eras when one was not even alive,  can provoke such strong reactions.  I gravitate toward anything to do with WWII.   I love anything to do with that era.  I am that way to some extent about the 60s.   I enjoy history generally speaking, but the deep South,  slavery times and into the Depression era,  I find profoundly disturbing for no reason in particular.

I live in North Carolina,  and a little over a year ago,  I toured an old plantation home and the grounds with my child.  I felt that way there.  We viewed the slaves quarters, the farm land,  and the actual plantation home,  and I felt unsettled the entire time.   Weird!

Anyway -  Places in the Heart is a lovely film.  It has very sad moments,  and a shocking beginning.  It shocked me, at least.   I'm surprised that the movie has been out as long as I've been alive yet I am just now seeing it, at 28 years of age.   I'm very pleased that I got to see it :)

 




 






     











 

Con Air

I must subconsciously be trying to knock all these "guy movies" out of the way...RED, Transformers, now Con Air?  The only Con Air I have real feelings for is my hair dryer.

I saw Con Air years and years ago purely because of Malkovich.  It wasn't my kind of film then and probably still isn't, but you know what?  I'm dedicated to my project!

Ok, starting it...now...

OH NO not the 90's anthem..."how do I liiiiive without you?"  ... how did I live through the popularity of that terrible song?

Why is Nick Cage talking like Colonel Sanders?   My favorite Nicolas Cage movie is the one where he's the suicidal alcoholic in Las Vegas.   I couldn't watch some of the scenes because I hate vodka and I could almost smell it through the tv.   Ughh.

Back to the movie.  He is a soldier who just came home and he and his pregnant wife are apparently celebrating his return in some dive bar.   A guy comes up and bothers them, but Nick Cage ignores him.  Then they go to leave.  It is raining.  Is it monsoon season where ever this is set?  That is like no rain I have ever witnessed.  And now a gang of white guys want to beat up Nick Cage.  This will not end nicely.  And...it doesn't.  One guy pulls a knife and Nick Cage shoots him, as you do.  The guy is dead.  Nick Cage pleads guilty and gets 7-10 years because apparently his hands are deadly weapons and he should have used those instead of a firearm.

He's in prison now.  Writing sappy letters.  Gettin' buff.  No big deal.  His wife sent him a care package that included "Cooler Ranch Doritos".   I loved those chips.

He corresponds with his little girl from prison and somehow they manage to make it seem endearing.  Nick is learning Spanish, he's using his time in prison wisely.  I hope his Spanish accent is better than his "Southern" one.  We don't talk like that! 

Now he's learning origami.

He just wrote a letter to "his hummingbird" to say he's getting out of prison and coming home "forevuh".  No, seriously, I live in the South, and we don't talk like Foghorn Leghorn!

He has a heartwarming conversation with his cell mate.  I guess it was supposed to be heartwarming.  I've been too busy staring at Nick Cage's homeless man hair to really make an informed decision.

The prisoners who are being transferred via airplane.  There is an official giving a speech and he is saying how the plane is going to be transporting the worst of the worst, in his words.  Oh dear.  The plane is called The Jailbird. Hee.

Oh hell here comes the violent offender bus.  They're putting an undercover policeman on the plane. They want to get information from a prisoner onboard.  Man they've got a lot of manpower to transport these prisoners. 

15 minutes in, here is Malkovich.  Cyrus the Virus is a jerk.  But so good looking.  Kidnapping, murder, spending half your life in prison, being criminally insane?  Well...nobody's perfect. 

Dave Chappelle is in this?  Awesome.

Nick Cage comes off the bus and onto the plane looking like Jesus Christ.  The cop took the picture of his daughter and was quite rude about it.  I'm not sure he should have done that.

This is the 2nd time I have tried to post this and had my post lost beyond the point of that last line.   I will simply say that loading a ton of dangerous criminals onto an airplane where the police are not armed and are also monumentally stupid,  is not really a good idea.   They all get free, and predictably things do not end well for many of the characters.

Malkovich was great in his role.  While I prefer him as "nicer" characters,  I do think he does criminal mastermind/angry/detached/aloof really well.  He can do anything though.

Steve Buscemi as the offbrand Hannibal Lecter was very off putting.  Buscemi is scary anyway.  He is the stuff of nightmares.  The scene of him with the little kid freaked me out. 

Honestly I kind of liked parts of this movie the 2nd time around.  Is it cinematic masterpiece?  Hell no.  Is it thought-provoking?  No.   But it had some funny parts,  and um,  Malkovich.

Also the way Nick Cage's character pronounces the word bunny is entertaining.  "Bunneh"  - And it must be said,  that bunny had some good scenes.  He was pretty much my favorite character.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Disclaimer...I know nothing about transformers.   I think it was a toy or cartoon when I was little, but that type of stuff didn't hold my interest,  I liked cartoons about talking animals and stuff like that lol.

I can't really get into this and have only been half-watching it so far.  My man just came onscreen though so I'll watch.  I lol'd at his "W-T-F to thaat?"  line.  

"No toolery". Haha.  I love his fake tan in the pictures of himself on his desk. 

I just burst out laughing over the Asian guy pulling two guns on that...weird bird thing?  And it tossed him out the window.  Lesson learned: don't draw your weapon on a weird electronic bird.

Something else I've learned:  Shia LaBeouf has come a long way since Even Stevens.  I barely recognized him.

I still don't understand this movie though.  What is an autobot?  What is a septicon?  All I hear in that is "septic" which does not evoke pleasant imagery.  Wait, Discepticon?  That makes more sense.

Is Optimus Prime like the godfather of all the transformers?   I don't know,  I'm fast-forwarding until I see John again.   Oh wait, they got Bill O'Reilly for this?  I didn't know he had a sense of humor!

Ahaha they just quoted Tommy Boy <3.

I just fast-forwarded a long time and now the entire movie seems to have been taken over by CGI EVERYTHING.   I don't know what happened to Malkovich.  Did his character get killed?

Sorry - I just am not a fan of movies like this,  I tried to watch it...

RED

So Bruce Willis is a former...what?  Spy?  Assassin?  CIA agent.  Something like that.  He is adjusting to normal life and for some reason pretends to not receive his retirement check, so he can keep calling to flirt with the girl assigned to his account.  Weird.

One night masked intruders try to kill him but Bruce Willis is a badass, so he kills them instead and then makes it look like his house has had shots fired inside, by heating up a pan of bullets on the stove. Lol.
So out of the darkness, more masked intruders riddle his house with bullets.  This is not the type of movie I usually see.  Bruce hides in the house and somehow takes out an entire team of men with assault rifles.  Oh, he only has a handgun btw.   Was he dreaming the whole thing?  I don't understand.

Ok new scene, the girl that he likes.  She just had a date who she is very bitchy to.  Also, she is drunk.

Um.  Bruce Willis is in her apartment.  She is threatening him with candles.  This is not creepy, weird, or stupid at all. 

He tells her they have been under surveillance and that the assassins want to kill her too,  even though he has never met her prior to this.   She calls bullshit, so he does what any man would do, and duct tapes her mouth and kidnaps her.  I think it is supposed to be funny, but is totally stupid instead. 

Where is Malkovich anyway.  He's the only reason I'm watching this total guy movie.

They're in New Orleans now.  I love New Orleans. 

He un duct tapes her mouth, only to tape it again.  Then he leaves.  You're kind of a douche, Bruce Willis.

Oh now here is Morgan Freeman.  In an old folk's home, flirting with a nurse.  He knows Bruce, I guess from the CIA.  He informs Bruce that some South African hit team is after him.   That kind of stuff always happens. 

The girl got away from Bruce's hotel room trap and calls 911.  A member of the hit team poses as a cop and drugs her, tries to kidnap her.  But of course Bruce saves the day.  Then, car chase, shootout in the streets.  Just a totally normal day in the french quarter, which is totally devoid of cars or people. 

Now they are in NYC.  What's her name is being a real bitch.  She even made a snotty remark about Bruce being bald.  I would leave her in the middle of Chinatown and be done. 

I'm over this plot.  I guess it is supposed to be a comedy?  I don't know and I don't care.  I just want to see John Malkovich.   It has been 30 minutes.  Enough already.  Blah blah spy stuff.  Blah. Sleuthing.  Investig-blahh.  STFU.  I'm ABOUT TO FAST-FORWARD THIS.  Such a guy movie.  You would totally have to have a penis to follow this and/or enjoy it.

I've made a decision to fast forward this testosterone-filled disaster until I see John.  These are the terms I have set.

Ok 31 minutes in.  Where the fuck are they now?  The bayou??  Bruce and the girl are on a red boat.  And they have arrived at a shitty houseboat thing.   Here we are, 32 minutes in, and we now have a very paranoid Malkovich wearing camo, like the kind of camo with leaves and stuff?  And has a gun.  Because it is a requirement in films like this one,  that if you have a penis, you must possess a firearm, preferably one of the automatic army-type variety.  Ooookay then.  Still...it's Malkovich.  Gonna have an open mind now.

PLAY.

He has a decoy house.  My man!  He lives in a bunker and the entrance is disguised as a piece of shit car.  That'd do it.

Quotable quotes:  "I could...feel their eyes on me.  Wet.  Like peaches."    I lol'd.

The girl's name is Sarah.  Malkovich's character wants to get rid of her.  He knows a place with 'lots of alligators'.  I have to agree.  It's for the best.  But no, Bruce Willis likes her, so they can't feed her to alligators.

Now they are in Mobile, Alabama.  I don't understand.  Malkovich is carrying a stuffed pig, and he just randomly accosted some woman.  He has her by the hair and I'm a bit jealous.  Oh wait, he's pointing a gun at her now.  There's a fine line between sexy and scary,  I am no longer jealous of her lol.   Bruce talks his crazy friend off the ledge and he dejectedly says "She was following us..." and then goes off to pout.  I kind of want to give him a hug, but I would likely get shot.

Um now they are at the airport and shots are being fired.  Normal everyday thing.  I don't have enough testosterone to process this.

Some red haired girl shot at them and then said something like "that's right old man".  Ageist.

Now there's like...grenades (?), and things are blowing up, and just....guy stuff.  Fire, bullets, kaboom, etc.
I think they just blew all the bad guys sky high?
Malkovich just killed the ginger bitch who called him old.  I know that's right. 

Then they GTFO as cops arrive.  They escape in a minivan.  Like a Bossssssss. 

John Malkovich is so much more attractive than Bruce.  Just making an observation.  He should have gotten the lead role and they could have let Bruce play the paranoid crazy guy.  Maybe I would like this movie better.

Now they are going to talk to some Russians.  Wait, what?   Sarah is all worried about Bruce.  She has known him like 2 days and he kidnapped her.  I know he has charisma and all, but seriously.  There's some painfully long chat with a Russian man.  I have no idea what's going on.  It appears everyone got new identities.  Sarah is now Shaniqua.  Hee.  Bruce is in a uniform and looks rather nice.

Sarah/Shaniqua is a fucking dork.  She asks Bruce what the punishment might be for what they're doing (what ARE they doing?)...he answers death or life in prison, and she grins and exclaims "awesome!".  What the fuuuck.  She is stupid.

Some more stuff happens.  Bruce has a fight while some 80s rock type song plays.  There is blood and punching.  Then gunfire, of course.  The building goes into lockdown but Bruce and Sarah escape.  Also they blow up part of the building with household materials.  Bruce poses as a firefighter (hot),  and now here is Malkovich again, posing as an ambulance driver and looking very unhappy.  He has a nosebleed.  Welcome to my life during pollen season.  The nosebleeds, I mean.  Not posing as an ambulance driver.

Ohh okay so Morgan Freeman's character is alive after all.  They made it seem like he died a while back.  Malkovich seems ticked about this. 

Now they are all somewhere called the eagles nest.  Is he visiting his mom or something?  I have no idea.

Now.....I have no idea what they're doing.  Some undercover shit.  Now the FBI is everywhere.  Morgan Freeman got shot.  I guess he is for real dead now.
Stupid Sarah just fell down a hill and the FBI surrounded her. 

Some more stuff happens. They are at some big fancy event.  I don't even....ugh another car chase.  The cars pass over a place on the road that says "stop".   That's how I feel about this movie.  Getting real sick of your shit, RED.

There's not enough Malkovich in this for me to put up with so much nonsense.  He would need to be in every scene to make this tolerable.

I've got 12 minutes to go, but Amazon Prime sucks and the stream keeps freezing. I assume Bruce Willis and Sarah are reunited.  She probably makes a witty remark, and I bet they kiss.  The end.

Dangerous Liaisons

The film that started this for me.  True, I first found out who JM was when I saw Of Mice and Men.  But Lennie just made me feel sympathy.   I wasn't sitting there thinking "dude...that Lennie guy? Kinda hot..."  I just was impressed by the way JM transformed himself.  Soon after Of Mice & Men,  I rented Dangerous Liaisons and loved it so much.  I even bought a VHS copy of it, which I have to this day.  I will not part with it, even though....who watches vhs?

Simply put, Valmont set my world on fire.  I was 14 or 15 and had never seen a character like that.

Stealing a synopsis, possibly from IMDB, can't remember, purely because the storyline gets a little complicated, mostly because of the French names:
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Set in France around 1760, the Marquise de Merteuil needs a favour from her ex-lover, Vicomte de Valmont. One of the Marquise de Merteuil's ex-lovers, Gercourt, is betrothed to a young, virtuous, woman called Cecile de Volanges. The Marquise would like Valmont to seduce Cecile before her wedding day, thus humiliating Gercourt. Meanwhile, Valmont has a conquest of his own in mind: Madame de Tourvel, a beautiful, married, and God fearing woman. The Marquise doesn't think that Valmont can seduce Mme de Tourvel. She tells him that if he can provide written proof of a sexual encounter with Mme de Tourvel, she will offer him a reward: one last night with her. Valmont, however, will find himself falling in love with Mme de Tourvel, and facing the deadly jealousy of the Marquise de Merteuil. All along, Cecile de Volanges is used as a pawn in this game of sexual conquest and scorned love.
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I'll add but one thing to their synopsis:  "And Keanu Reeves".  Because he plays Cecile's boyfriend and plays a pretty crucial role, particularly at the end of the movie.

When I first watched this movie as a teenager, so much of it was beyond me and over my head.  Watching it as an adult is a different experience.  I have had many of the emotions these characters feel, and so I can understand them much better now.  Disturbingly I relate most with the Marquise and Valmont, who are, it is pretty safe to say....kinda huge jerks.  They deserve each other.
Although Valmont does appear to show some sort of character arc as he falls in love with Tourvel and that makes him far more likeable.   Plus....he's sexy.  He can act however he wants, as long as he keeps saying charming things and giving sexy looks.

This movie is well within my top 5 of all time, and may possibly be my #1.  I can see why this one made people realize that JM is sexy, but he was all along - watch earlier ones like The Glass Menagerie and Death of a Salesman,  he's a beautiful man.  Period.

If there is really anyone on the planet who hasn't seen this before (??) they should.  It is way sexier than any movie set in 1700's France ever should be.  There are also genuinely funny moments, and plenty of sinister, manipulative dialogue.  And plotting.  And uncomfortable-looking costumes.

Being John Malkovich

Just going to copy and paste the synopsis from RottenTomatoes because they summed it up more neatly than I could:
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Puppeteer Craig Schwartz (John Cusack) is having money problems, so he takes a temporary job as a file clerk on the seventh-and-a-half floor of a large office building. One day, while rummaging behind a cabinet, he finds a small door that leads to the center of the mind of actor John Malkovich (played by, you guessed it, John Malkovich). Craig discovers that entering the portal allows him to become John Malkovich for a brief spell, and in time he and his beautiful but aloof co-worker Maxine (Catherine Keener) get the bright idea to charge admission for the privilege of spending 15 minutes inside the head of a well-known actor. Malkovich realizes that something strange is happening to him, but can do little to stop it, as strangers take over his mind for a quarter-hour at a time. Craig's wife, Lotte (Cameron Diaz), eventually takes a trip into Malkovich's psyche, and she soon finds herself in love with Maxine, with whom Malkovich has an affair; meanwhile, Maxine in time becomes infatuated with both Craig and Lotte, but only when they're inside Malkovich.
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Okay.  So I had actually never seen this movie until a month or so ago.  I had heard of it many times.  Even though it oh, you know, has his name in the title,  I didn't realize it really is a movie centered around him - sort of. 

I LOVE this movie.  I have never seen a premise like it before,  it is super clever and original.  There aren't many films that are completely original.  It has so many humorous moments.  A favorite scene of mine is where Malkovich goes through his own portal and arrives in a world full of...him, and the only thing any of them ever says is "Malkovich".  Another funny one is the faux documentary about John 'Horatio' Malkovich and his new career in puppeteering. 

It's a great film all around, what else can really be said about it? 

Gardens of the Night

*contains spoilers, but if you're reading this, you have probably seen the film already.

This is a movie I absolutely would not have wanted to see,  if Malkovich was not associated with it.   As it turns out, he is in the film only very briefly at the beginning and end of the film.  He plays a counselor of some type at a shelter for teenagers/young adults.  Nothing much to say about his role, only because he isn't in the film much and he is convincing and good in whatever he does.

But the movie itself is gut-wrenching.  I wouldn't say I hated it, but I will say it made me terribly sad.  It begins with a little girl named Leslie, elementary school age, she looks 6 or 7, who is walking to school.  Alone.  She appears to live in a very nice neighborhood, but already I want to shake her parents.  Our children can't walk to school alone because there are too many piece of shit horrible people in the world who would hurt little kids.  It's sad, but it is part of the world now. 
Predictably, a creepy man appears, played, horrifyingly convincingly, by Tom Arnold.  It must be said, I'm not a Tom Arnold fan, but I never thought of him as creepy.  He is definitely that, in this role.  He pretends to be looking for his lost dog when Leslie happens upon him.  He introduces himself as Alex, and eventually convinces Leslie to let him give her a ride to school.   In the car with him is a sullen young guy, maybe in his 20s.
On the car ride to school, Alex talks to Leslie and is clearly asking her leading questions, then making her think that he knows her dad, that he works for her dad.   He drops her off at school.

At the end of the school day,  he comes up to her and says there has been a terrible emergency and that her parents want him to pick her up.  Leslie seems skeptical, but she gets in the car.  This kid's eyes are so much like my own child's,  that this scene makes me want to burst into tears.

The next part of the film is predictable, unspeakable, and horrific.  They bring Leslie to a house where they have another kidnapped child, a little boy named Donnie.  Alex convinces the children that their parents don't want them.  He gives Leslie a pretend phone number, telling her it's her dad's number, and a phone, and says she can call her dad any time and try to get in touch with him.
I have a slight issue with this plot point, because my little girl is 5, and she has my cell phone number memorized.  She also knows about calling 911 if she is in danger.  Leslie is left alone with a phone that actually does dial out, and I just wished she would have dialed 911.  Or that her parents would have taught her their phone numbers!

It is chilling to listen to Alex mentally break these children down and make them think they're unwanted.  It is later revealed to Leslie that her parents were looking for her the whole time.

There is abuse.  Physical, sexual.  Child prostitution.  Mental abuse.  It is a painful movie to watch.  Leslie and Donnie become friends in this and they rely on each other to get through their ordeal.

Then, Leslie and Donnie escape or are gotten rid of perhaps.  They are 17, living on the streets,  addicted to drugs.  A pimp wants Leslie to recruit a very young girl to become a prostitute for him.  She begins to go along with it, but has a change of heart.  She risks her life to get the girl to a safe place.  Then she eventually gets herself to a safe place.

She is reunited with her parents, who still seem like dirtbags even though they have only just appeared on camera.  They have had other children during the time that Leslie was missing.  There is nothing wrong with this, but they explain it to her so awkwardly.

The movie ends in an upsetting way.  Leslie leaves her parents' house in the night, presumably to live on the streets again. 

Why did her parents not immediately get her into therapy?
Oh yeah, because they're total douchebags.

This is an unsettling movie that brings attention to something that sadly does happen in real life.   I don't regret watching it, but I would never want to see it again.

Colour Me Kubrick

I loved this movie!  It is about an English man called Alan Conway who spends his free time impersonating Stanley Kubrick, tricking everyone he meets into spending money on him, in exchange for roles in his films.

I'm not even recapping beyond that because it's beyond my words.  It is very quirky and I enjoyed it very much.

The Call

John Malkovich and Naomi Campbell - The Call (short for Pirelli) - YouTube

Malkovich plays a priest.  A sexy priest.  10 minute commercial for Pirelli.  That's all you need to know.

Butterflies

Watch "Butterflies feat. John Malkovich" on YouTube

I'm not sure I have the right words to describe this short video.  Just watch it!

Ripley's Game

Sociopaths can be sexy.

So I've got a bottle of 7$ Duplin, it is movie night for me, and I have selected Ripley's Game based upon the trailer alone.  It was a toss up between this one and RED.  With Mary Reilly as a close 3rd.

What I've learned so far:  if John Malkovich tells you to leave his papers alone, you fucking leave his papers alone.  And definitely don't draw your weapon, or he will beat your ass with a fire poker without batting an eye.  He does. not. play.  Leave the man's stuff.  alone.

He's just made some shady deal with some shady people, or not so much a "deal" I suppose, as him getting 1.2 million of their dollars and them getting nothing.  He has a "business partner" who is really just a fat, ghetto English guy (the type who pronounce 'nothing' as 'nuffink') and he effectively terminates their friendship or business relationship or whatever connection they had.

Now he's in Italy and it's 3 years later and he's buying a harpsichord?  I guess?  Well ok.   Now he's having sexy piano time with some girl, I'm assuming this is Ripley's wife or girlfriend. 

Now he's at a party at the neighbor's house.  He walks in on all the neighbors talking shit about him and how he has bad taste and has ruined the huge mansion he lives in. He overheard EVERYTHING and he's not very pleased.
Jesus, I hope these people don't have a fireplace.

The neighbor, Jonathan, who invited him to the party and has done the bulk of the shit-talking is all "Ohhhhh Tom, we're so happy you're here!' Blah blah, and every statement he makes,  Malkovich answers with "Meaning....?"  in a total psycho voice. 

So Mr. Ripley comes home and some fat English guy is there.  He calls Ripley a beautiful man, they exchange the European style double cheek kiss, and I gotta say, I felt a twinge of "wish that was me".  Apparently these men aren't friends though.  Is it the same ghetto English man from the beginning of the film?  Yes it is.

And this dumbass is pissing Ripley off,  he's telling the cook how to make eggs, and now he's randomly flung egg onto what looks to be a very expensive couch.
OH GOD, RIPLEY'S GOING NEAR THE FIREPLACE, watch out, fat ghetto Englishman!!
Ripley's like "what do you want?"
The fat ghetto Englishman wants Ripley to take out his neighbors. Ripley sends him away but appears to be thinking it over.

Now Ripley is in bed, sewing.  Kinda hot.  His wife reveals to him that the a-hole neighbor from the party, is dying of cancer.  You can see that Ripley's wheels are turning.  He calls the ghetto Englishman (who is apparently named Peter Reeves, but I like 'fat ghetto englishman' better)  the next day, to tell him he has found the right hitman for the job...

-and now I'm actually gonna put the phone down for a bit and watch without stopping every few minutes-

Ok, so this wasn't the best movie I've ever seen, but it is acted well.  It was engrossing.  So engrossing that I didn't really notice the many, many implausible things that took place.

I don't even want to recap it that much.   A lot of craziness transpired.  I am not at all convinced Ripley was a sociopath in this movie.  He seemed to care what happened to his neighbor?  He seemed to genuinely love his wife?  I don't see sociopath in that.  Jerk, yes.  Murderer, yes.  Sociopath...not seeing it as much.

I never saw The Talented Mr. Ripley, but from what I've read, these are two totally unrelated stories so it doesn't matter.  Malkovich is amazing in this.  I loved him.  He is best when playing these cunning, manipulative types.  The rest of the actors...well, to be honest, I didn't really notice any of them, his acting eclipsed everyone else.

Best/funniest quote from the entire movie:  "Hold my watch, because if it breaks I'll kill everyone on this train."