Shadows and Fog

I admit, I watched the vast majority of this on fast-forward, because I think Woody Allen is a terrible actor and possibly a terrible human being.
I think the basic premise is there's a serial strangler, or something.  And it's foggy.  And dark.  Shadows and fog, ooh.
JM plays a clown.  A deeply introspective clown.  In a traveling sideshow thing.  He has a whiney girlfriend/wife(?) who is desperate to have a baby.  He's kinda like "whoa hold up" and goes on a walk.  On the way to "talk to his boss" he somehow magically falls into bed with the trapeze artist WHILE her strongman boyfriend is passed out nearby.  Because even dressed as a clown, Malkovich has swagger like that.

So then more stuff happens.  It's really boring and there's lots of Woody Allen. 

Then Malkovich reunites with his girlfriend, after she has slept with another man for money.  To his credit, he found out about it and went nuts on her.  But  he forgives her.  Then they happen upon a murdered girl and her still-alive baby.  So his crazy girlfriend decides the reasonable thing to do is to steal the baby and raise it as their own.  Yeah!   Clownkovich is skeptical of this, naturally, but because clowns are pushovers he soon is like "Oh, Ok."
Then there are some highly adorable scenes of him and the baby which made my uterus emit something akin to a schoolgirl giggle.

Then I think the movie ended.

So there you have it, Shadows and Fog.