I really like the opening sequence and creepy pan flute type music. I especially liked the title of the movie appearing in fancy script written across the palm of a woman's hand. First thought: that is the type of script I wanted one of my tattoos written in. Sadly what happened instead was this weird cursive/print hybrid that makes me mad every time I look at it.
First scene: all I had to do was look at Nicole Kidman's hair and I laughed. But now I feel guilty, because her character is sad and has been crying.
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Immediately after that, I put my phone down and began to focus on the movie. I'm not going to post a synopsis, if you are reading this you have probably seen it. There are really good summaries of it all over the internet.
I hated this movie. H-A-T-E-D. I-T. I wanted to like it! Some parts of it were quite beautiful, and I have no issue with any of the acting. But all the characters were absolute jerks, save for Pansy and that guy who liked her. They seemed like the only two genuine characters. Every other person seemed to have an ulterior motive of some kind, some more sinister than others. Except Isabel Archer, who was, to put it mildly, a total moron. Nicole Kidman did a great job of playing her, but the character is completely and utterly stupid.
Malkovich plays Osmond, who is a pretty bad guy. Male equivalent of a gold digger. Lazy, controlling, temperamental, full of himself. But, I can see why Isabel fell for him, because he was oh, so sexy. I got chills during the scene with the parasol. I don't even like facial hair, and I was able to overlook the beard he had throughout the film. In fact, Malkovich is the only man I can think of who I think is super sexy with facial hair. It is difficult to pull off.
And that is because Malkovich possesses a higher level of sex appeal than other men.
His character was still a huge jerk.
This is not a "romance" film, everyone ends up miserable. I was also very weirded out by Isabel's cousin having a thing for her. Were people just gross in that era?
I didn't understand the use of her fortune, she wasted it all on Osmond (but at least she got her fugly hairstyle fixed!). There is so much more she could have done with her money.
I wanted very much to like this movie, but the truth is, I fell asleep twice, and the characters were all despicable.
It is visually quite pretty and interesting. The actors are all very good, but they play such terrible people.
I realize that this seems hypocritical coming from me when my favorite JM film is Dangerous Liaisons. The difference is that in Dangerous Liaisons, the "bad" characters seem like they have a shot at redemption. Even Glenn Close, when it becomes evident that she loved Valmont. And I do think she loved him. God help me, I found her sympathetic in a few scenes. And Valmont certainly undergoes a change of heart late in the film. I like the horrible people in Dangerous Liaisons. I just wanted to smack everyone in Portrait of a Lady.
Although Osmond...again, quite sexy. I don't see why Isabel married him though when he was very clearly hook-up material only.
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